Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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