They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she told me i tasted like america
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Thank you for not boning my boss.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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