"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
