Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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