Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
