I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
