If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
