Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
