i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
