we're chasing vodka with high fives
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
