Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
