It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
