good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I had to cum in my sink.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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