No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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