You really coming over, don't trick.
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
plz talk dirty to me
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
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