thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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