Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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