Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize