she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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