How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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