Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
bring money and cleavage
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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