im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
