3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
