i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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