i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
