Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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