Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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