Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize