I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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