well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
