After last night, I could never be a politician.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He? As in you personified your dick?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
