You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
