My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
