Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
