shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize