my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
