I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
soo... how was my night?
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