your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
