so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
