I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
