I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
