I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
