just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
