I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You pole danced in your parka.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
