ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
