I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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