Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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