We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
