did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You were trust falling into bushes
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
