I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
