News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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