Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My feet surprised me
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
