She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
