So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
