OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
