as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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