Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
