I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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