I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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