I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
