what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
