Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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