Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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